The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.
This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT.
This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.
Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
Hubs and I went out with a group of friends on Friday. After several drinks the conversation turned to dating… specifically to the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever had on a date.
What’s mine, you ask? Let’s just say it involved an unfortunate choice of footwear. You’ll have to take me out for martinis some night if you want the rest of the story.
Until then, feel free to use your imagination - and I’m all ears if you’d like to spill some of your most embarrassing dating moments.
Here’s something to keep you entertained while you ponder:
Thankfully dating is still a long way off for our kids. Here’s hoping we’ll be parents with a sense of humor when that time comes!
I always thought if I had to choose between Heaven and Hell I’d choose Hell. After all, it sounds like all the party animals will be there.
Besides which I’ve assumed that I’d never make it past the gatekeeper anyway.
But now I am thinking again…. Why suffer a life of eternal damnation when I can simply buy my way into Heaven?
You mean I get to enjoy my sin filled life on earth, and still bypass the “endless suffering” that damnation promises? Yes folks, you can now buy your way into Heaven! Woo Hoo!
And best of all, your ticket to Heaven comes with a money back guarantee.
You can choose from one of two packages: The “Essential Travel Kit” for $12.79, which includes “everything needed to transport one individual to Heaven,” and an “All Access Travel Kit” for $24.95 that comes with an additional VIP pass that “will grant you access to ‘VIP exclusive areas’ including the Land of Milk and Honey, where all the elite get together and kick it.”
This could really change things, and Heaven could actually be fun.
But only if you all agree to meet me there (when the time is right). Besides, the site offers a group discount.
Now….. if it turns out that the martinis in Heaven are not all that hot, or the wine choice sucks, there is always plan B.
You know, the kind that just all around S-U-C-K-S. Thankfully there’s a song from Jimmy Eat World that helps put things back in perspective. Enjoy.
Have you heard of Seattle’s South Lake Union Trolley?
It has an unfortunate, but oh so humorous, abbreviation - otherwise known as The S.L.U.T.
I heard about it while I was Christmas shopping in Seattle.
Apparently I’ve been living under a rock though because I just found out about these brilliant Ride The S.L.U.T. shirts created by the guys at Kapow Coffee in Seattle.
I’m a huge fan of novelty gifts and am lovin’ these shirts. Hop on over to the official site to order yours today - or if you happen to be in the neighborhood, stop in and buy one from Dandy Don and Big Jerry in person.
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